Only the Certain Spring

Portal Forums Lung/Thoracic Cancer In Memory of Lost GRACE Friends Only the Certain Spring

This topic contains 45 replies, has 29 voices, and was last updated by  aunttootsie001 4 years, 1 month ago.

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July 24, 2013 at 6:58 pm  #1258244    

njliu

This board is different without CS. She is sadly missed.


Wife, 56, Asian, 11/11 Dx Adenocarcinoma 3B, EGFR+. 12/11 Iressa, great response. 12/12 asymptomatic brain mets with possible lepto, 1/13 WBR, continue Iressa, 9/13 Local Progression at primary tumor, 10/13 focal radiation, 1/14 PET Scan:Tumor Resolution, continue Iressa, 6/14 PET shows flare up at same primary. 9/14 CT stable/MRI reappearance of brain mets, 4/15 stable brain mets, 5/15 increase in SUV and slight pleural effusion. 6/15 Afatinib + Cetuximab

July 25, 2013 at 3:19 pm  #1258276    

Jazz

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

~Christina Georgina Rossetti


Non-smoker, Dx 6/06 Stage IV Adeno. EGFR+ (exon 19 del), T790m+. Trial: 2cyc Carbo/Doce/Avastin + 2 w/Gem 8 – 12/06; Avastin maint. 1 – 4/07. Alimta + Tarceva 5/07 – 2/09. NED to 8/09. Tarceva 150 9/09-5/11, SBRT/XRS to lung & spine met 2/11. Trial MK2206 (AKT inhibitor) + Tarceva 5 – 12/11. Afatinib+cetuximab trial 2/12 -2/13. LL collapsed. 1/13 PET – new bone & adrenal mets. 4 cyc Carbo-Gem-Tarceva 5/13. Brain MRI 10/13 – clear. Lost Dad to LC 5/13.Anti-PDL1@Angeles Clinic?

July 25, 2013 at 4:33 pm  #1258277    

forherbie

Certain Spring was always here sharing info. Her passing leaves a void at Grace. I hope her family knows how valuable and loved she was.
Anne

July 25, 2013 at 11:22 pm  #1258287    

laya d.

I think about her every day and I miss her so much! This place feels so different without her. . .so much less :O( . . .Just like when Stephanie passed, and Ned before her, and Simon before him, and Catherine, and Myrtle, and Jing, and Blueskies, and Regina and Judy (in Key West), etc., etc.

Terribly Heartbroken. . .

Laya


1/10 – My Mom (58) dx w/ NSCLC-Adeno 3a; 1 cycle of neoadjuvent Carbo/Alimta before finding out EGFR+ (Ex. 19), then switched to 7 wks of neoadjuvent Tarceva/150 mg (major shrinkage); 4/10 – right pneumonectomy; 6/10 started 3 rounds of adjuvent Cis/Alimta w/ concurrent chest radiation (7 wks); 8/10 – NED; 11/10 – small nodule in left lung; 1/11 – 3 small nodules in left lung, start Tarceva/100 mg; 4/11 – suspected sclerotic met to hip, continue w/ Tarceva, add XGEVA, brain MRI clear; 9/11 – solitary 3 cm met (adeno w/ T790m mutation) to cerebellum, surgery and gamma knife, up Tarceva to 150 mg; 11/11 – 2 left lung nodules growing, biopsy on 1 shows mutation from adeno to squamous (shocker!), brain MRI clear, continue Tarceva & Xgeva; 2/12 – brain MRI clear, CT scan, remaining nodule slightly bigger – – monitor for now, Tarceva (reduced to 100 mg) & Xgeva continued; 4/12 progression and rebiopsy (confirmed adeno), stop Tarceva, switch to Carbo/Alimta; 6/12 maintenanceAlimta; 8/12 back to Tarceva; 10/12 Gemzar; 11/16 difficulty breathing; 12/12 hospice initiated…my Mom passed away peacefully on 12/19/12. Heartbroken.

August 3, 2013 at 7:00 pm  #1258442    

judys

I’m with everyone else in missing certain spring like crazy.

Laya, your list of some of the many who have made huge contributions to GRACE is hard to read. ……..Warrior Princess is another person I miss. What a perfect name for her………There have been some amazing people on this site. How lucky we were to have had them around.


Never-smoker; Diagnosed 2/2007 at age 64 with NSCLC adenocarcinoma, Stage 3b. Carboplatin/taxol/avastin: 3/07 – 6/07; radiation 8/07 -9/07; Avastin 10/07 – 12/07; Nodules in prev.clear rt lung; repeated carbo/taxol/avastin 1/08 – 3/08; Tarceva 4/08 – 9/11; radiation to soft tissue mass between two ribs 10/11; Alimta 10/11 – 2/12; treatment break; return to Alimta 5/12 – 6/12. Taxotere 7/12 – 10/12; treatment break 11/12 – 1/13; scan showed progression 1/13; restarted taxotere with zometa 2/13

August 5, 2013 at 5:08 am  #1258473    

heartspy

My heart is heavy to hear of Certain Spring leaving her body and her family – including the one here at GRACE. Heartfelt hugs filled with sympathy to all of you. – Megan


My Beloved,43 year old husband passed away on 4/17/13 from NSCLC w/ EGFR+ mutation. My heart hurts with grief, but remains full of gratitude to GRACE .

August 5, 2013 at 6:45 pm  #1258481    

cpmcg – Candy

I’ve been off the site for several months now, and dreaded coming back after so long – and am heartbroken to learn that CS is gone. I hate cancer SO MUCH! Not so much for myself, but for those we care about (even if we’ve never met in the flesh) who are taken away from us.
And I know a temper tantrum won’t help, but that’s what I feel like right now. I want to yell and scream and kick and say, “Bring her back RIGHT NOW!!!”
I will miss CS for as long as I live.
Candy

August 5, 2013 at 11:50 pm  #1258486    

laya d.

Candy – – this is probably not the right venue, but I’m so happy to hear from you. I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing all these months. . .

xoxo,
Laya


1/10 – My Mom (58) dx w/ NSCLC-Adeno 3a; 1 cycle of neoadjuvent Carbo/Alimta before finding out EGFR+ (Ex. 19), then switched to 7 wks of neoadjuvent Tarceva/150 mg (major shrinkage); 4/10 – right pneumonectomy; 6/10 started 3 rounds of adjuvent Cis/Alimta w/ concurrent chest radiation (7 wks); 8/10 – NED; 11/10 – small nodule in left lung; 1/11 – 3 small nodules in left lung, start Tarceva/100 mg; 4/11 – suspected sclerotic met to hip, continue w/ Tarceva, add XGEVA, brain MRI clear; 9/11 – solitary 3 cm met (adeno w/ T790m mutation) to cerebellum, surgery and gamma knife, up Tarceva to 150 mg; 11/11 – 2 left lung nodules growing, biopsy on 1 shows mutation from adeno to squamous (shocker!), brain MRI clear, continue Tarceva & Xgeva; 2/12 – brain MRI clear, CT scan, remaining nodule slightly bigger – – monitor for now, Tarceva (reduced to 100 mg) & Xgeva continued; 4/12 progression and rebiopsy (confirmed adeno), stop Tarceva, switch to Carbo/Alimta; 6/12 maintenanceAlimta; 8/12 back to Tarceva; 10/12 Gemzar; 11/16 difficulty breathing; 12/12 hospice initiated…my Mom passed away peacefully on 12/19/12. Heartbroken.

August 11, 2013 at 12:49 pm  #1258600    

rory

As one of Certain Spring’s two brothers, I wanted to write to all of you at GRACE following the death of my sister and specially to those who’ve written such kind and beautiful words about her. Thank you all.

GRACE meant so much to Certain Spring over the last 3 years. (I’m sure you know this already but it’s worth repeating.) For her it was a place of friendship and inspiration and support – and much more. She often talked to me about what she had learned here and about the people she got to know through spending time here. You became a hugely important part of her life.

Her husband, her other brother and I, together with family and friends, have said our sad farewells over the last few weeks. She was buried on the west coast of Scotland. And there was a inspiring memorial event in Oxford, where she worked as an academic studying English literature.

When we gathered in Oxford last weekend, one part of the programme was directly inspired by GRACE. We read out many of the tributes to Certain Spring on these pages, as well as a few – a very few! – of the posts that she herself had written. So you and the wider GRACE community were in a real way there and part of the occasion.

We will miss her enormously and so, judging from these pages, will many of you on GRACE. Thank you again for all you gave her.

August 11, 2013 at 2:03 pm  #1258601    

double trouble

Rory I can’t thank you enough for letting us know. I know I have wondered if our words were reaching anyone. It is so good to know that we were there in spirit if not in person. I wish you only fond memories and little sadness as the days wear on. She was indeed one extraordinary woman.
Debra

August 11, 2013 at 2:34 pm  #1258603    
Denise Brock
Denise Brock

Yes, Rory, thank you so much for reaching out. It feels somewhat empty when someone leaves us, and to have a family member say something really touches us all, if I may speak for us all.

We have talked offline about putting up a tribute in her honor on our tributes page — this would mean hopefully a picture and perhaps releasing her name. This would only be of course with you and your families blessing. Please let me know if this is something you would be ok with. Feel free to email me at dbrock@cancergrace.org if you would like to talk.

Thanks again, and my sincere condolences to you and yours. We miss her terribly.

A small question – I often wonder about where ‘Certain Spring’ came from…. and what it meant to her… :)

August 12, 2013 at 9:52 am  #1258610    
JimC Forum Moderator
JimC Forum Moderator

Rory,

Thank you for sharing this with GRACE, and for sharing the words of certain spring’s GRACE friends with those present at the Oxford gathering. We will always remember her fondly.

As far as her GRACE name, in certain spring’s own words:

“The name is from a poem by an English poet, Laurence Binyon (1869-1943), called The Burning of the Leaves. For my parents’ generation it had associations with the Second World War. I’m not wild about the poem but I find the last line inspirational: ‘Nothing is certain, only the certain spring’.”

JimC
Forum moderator


Jul 2008 Wife Liz (51/never smoker) Dx Stage IV NSCLC EGFR exon 19
4 cycles Carbo/alimta, 65% shrinkage
Tarceva maintenance
Mar 2010 progression, added Alimta, stable
Sep 2010 multiple brain mets, WBR
Oct 2010 large pericardial effusion, tamponade
Jan 2011 progression, start abraxane
Jun 2011-New liver, brain mets, add Tarceva
Oct 2011-Dx Leptomeningeal carcinomatosis; pulsed Tarceva
At rest Nov 4 2011
Since then: http://cancergrace.org/blog/jim-and-lisa

August 12, 2013 at 12:32 pm  #1258612    

mikem

Rory,

Thank you for coming back to tell us of the importance she placed on GRACE and its family. I hadn’t responded to her passing yet because frankly, I was at a loss for what to say. GRACE has lost so many good people and I don’t think there is anyone here that didn’t consider CS special. Her contributions were immeasurable. Thanks to you, I found my voice and I send my deepest condolences to you for your loss. I am very happy that she was a part of GRACE. –mikem


56 year old former smoker diagnosed w/Stage IV NSCLC Adenocarcinoma 10/20/09 Completed 6 carbo/alimta followed by 10 Alimta maintenance. Biopsy of iliac negative for metastatic disease. Might not have been a stage IV after all. Oct. 2010, on to surgery…. removed lung. All lymph nodes clear 11-17-10. July 2014 Still all clear. One more 6 month check and if all is good annual only.

August 12, 2013 at 11:24 pm  #1258618    

laya d.

Dearest Rory. . .

Thank you so so so very much for coming here and sharing a bit more of cs with us. It seems like we all can never have (or get) quite enough of her…She was so smart, so sensible, so grounded, so kind, so wise…She is so missed. It’s really beyond words. You know. . .

I continue to hold her and the rest of you (her loved ones) very close…I wish you all peace.

Laya


1/10 – My Mom (58) dx w/ NSCLC-Adeno 3a; 1 cycle of neoadjuvent Carbo/Alimta before finding out EGFR+ (Ex. 19), then switched to 7 wks of neoadjuvent Tarceva/150 mg (major shrinkage); 4/10 – right pneumonectomy; 6/10 started 3 rounds of adjuvent Cis/Alimta w/ concurrent chest radiation (7 wks); 8/10 – NED; 11/10 – small nodule in left lung; 1/11 – 3 small nodules in left lung, start Tarceva/100 mg; 4/11 – suspected sclerotic met to hip, continue w/ Tarceva, add XGEVA, brain MRI clear; 9/11 – solitary 3 cm met (adeno w/ T790m mutation) to cerebellum, surgery and gamma knife, up Tarceva to 150 mg; 11/11 – 2 left lung nodules growing, biopsy on 1 shows mutation from adeno to squamous (shocker!), brain MRI clear, continue Tarceva & Xgeva; 2/12 – brain MRI clear, CT scan, remaining nodule slightly bigger – – monitor for now, Tarceva (reduced to 100 mg) & Xgeva continued; 4/12 progression and rebiopsy (confirmed adeno), stop Tarceva, switch to Carbo/Alimta; 6/12 maintenanceAlimta; 8/12 back to Tarceva; 10/12 Gemzar; 11/16 difficulty breathing; 12/12 hospice initiated…my Mom passed away peacefully on 12/19/12. Heartbroken.

August 13, 2013 at 12:37 pm  #1258623    
catdander forum moderator
catdander forum moderator

Rory,
I’m very sorry you’ve lost your wonderful sister, I know how much she loved the men in her life.

Thank you for sharing family and friends’ final goodbyes. I can’t say how much it means to know you understood her connection to us and we were a part of her memorial service, truly overwhelming. I know it doesn’t come as a surprise that she left this forum with much more understanding of life, love, caring, and of course lc. I wish we had more.

Keeping all of you in my thoughts with hopes of peace,
Janine

August 15, 2013 at 2:33 pm  #1258638    

B-1 83

I haven’t been here in a while. I signed in, saw the title of thid thread, and my heart sank. I didn’t know Certain Spring in person, but I feel like she was a friend. Peace be with you, dear lady.

Bruce


Wife dx with Stage 4 adnocarcinoma 8/09 with mets to the skull, spine, hips, humerous, femur, ribs, and scapula. 7 rounds of carboplatin/taxotere. 1 year of Tarceva and full brain radiation for suspected LC. More radiation for bone mets. 3 rounds of Alimta. Battle II trial starting in 11/11. Lost her battle 5/10/12. I miss you every day, Sweetheart.

August 17, 2013 at 10:33 am  #1258660    

marisa93

Rory,

Thank you so much for coming back to share with us. CS was a very special lady and her presence here will be deeply missed. I wish you and your family comfort in your memories of such a special mom, wife, loved one, friend…

My best to you all,
Lisa


Nov 23, 2010 husband(49/smoker) dx IV NSLC mets to brain/liver, Nov-Dec, 2010 15 WBR tx, Jan’11 MRI much improved, Dec ’10-Mar’11 4 txs carbo/alimta/avastin w/good response, Apr ’11 MRI mets almost gone, Apr ’11 start maintenance alimta, Jul ’11 MRI still good, Jul ’11 carbo/taxol for new lung met and 2 liver mets, Oct ’11 MRI new brain mets and major progression in liver, Nov 2, ’11 GK, Nov 19, 2011 at peace
Since then: http://cancergrace.org/forums/index.php?topic=11426.0

August 23, 2013 at 9:19 am  #1258751    

aunttootsie001

Am also very Sad to hear that Sad News! I did know things had not been going well for her and even thou I knew that it still is hard News to hear! I am upset that this darn Monster keeps taking away the people who contribute to this site! She was a wonderful lady who even in some hard times for herself was still avalible to give me and others advise or even just some very comforting words! She will be sadly missed! And thoughts and prayer for her Husband and family! Lorrie from Ohio

August 28, 2013 at 4:35 pm  #1258860    

LH

I haven’t been here in a while….. This is very sad news.

I wish you peace.

Louise


Partner – LD SCLC dx 03/10. 4 cycles Cisplatin & Etoposide. Rad completed 09/10. PET 10/10 – Mets to liver & bones. Topotecan started 11/1/10, 6th Cycle 2/25. CT 2/8 – small shrinkage. Completed IMRT, 20 sessions, 4/5. CT 4/11 confirm vertebrae C2&C3. Rad started 4/13, 10 treatments. CT 5/17, Gemzar commenced 5/25. CT 7/11, further liver progression. Back to Cisplatin & Etoposide, further growth. Back to Gemzar 12/11. Jan 12 seizure, two brain mets. WBR. Left us 3/17/2012.

October 22, 2013 at 5:18 pm  #1260018    
Denise Brock
Denise Brock

Just this weekend I received a lovely email from CS’s brother. Kirsty’s brothers and husband have written a lovely piece and offered a wonderful photo that we have posted on the Tributes page. If I may quote him –

“Looking again at the page (referencing this string) where people were told that she had died has brought tears again to my eyes. It’s also reminded me once more how much everybody at GRACE did for her and meant to her.”

So in her honor, and in everyone else’s honor also, I invite you to read the tribute to her posted here: http://cancergrace.org/tributes.

Fitting, for our hugely missed Certain Spring. And all our best to her family.

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