how to handle mother's surgery - 1255675

Hi--My mother had a pneumonectomy on Thursday for stage 3a lung cancer--I only found out there was a problem of any kind on Monday last week--so my head is spinning. I could not be there for the surgery because myself, daughter, and husband have been sick for over a week and are still coughing. I feel awful about not being there--my mother and I are very close, talk nearly every day. Well, I called four times in two days, as well as texting with my brother during surgery and making two calls to another friend of my mother-all of whom are there or have been throughout the several days. I have now been asked to limit my calling to only when I am called by my mother's friend, a call that will be once in the evening unless something is wrong. I am finding this waiting really difficult, as my worry builds throughout the day. I feel shut out and even punished somehow by the friend. Has anyone else had an experience like this? I just need some perspective. Thanks, Heidi