My parents are out of control! - 1293340

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teamfrank
My parents are out of control! - 1293340

This post is really just a release for me in dealing with my parents. You can certainly feel free to comment if you would like but I'm not looking for anything specific.

As some of you may remember, my dad has undergone some testing and procedures for a mass found in his left lower lobe of his lungs. All of this has been unsuccessful in yielding anything which will give us a definitive diagnosis and he has decided to stop any further testing/procedures for an extended period of time. Well, while we sit and let whatever it is in there potentially grow and spread, his cellulitis is now acting up and he told my sister that he may need to go in to seek medical attention for it. I will tell you that his cellulitis is something they have a very hard time controlling. He usually ends up hospitalized for about a week.

In the meantime, my mother has been misbehaving as well. A few weeks ago she had surgery to remover her ilium and 12 inches on either side of it for what she was told a mass which tested as precancerous in her pre-surgery biopsy results. Apparently, they biopsied deep inside what was removed during surgery and found there were cancer cells. She was diagnosed as Stage I colon cancer. The doctor is confident they got it all but referred her to an oncologist for the sake of being thorough.

She went to see the oncologist who told her the same information as her surgeon regarding her colon cancer and ordered a urinalysis. The results of that will let him know if he needs to see her further regarding the colon cancer. However, while discussing the cancer with her he advised her that her recent chest x-ray showed a suspicious spot on her lung (she is a lifelong smoker) and wanted her to have a CT scan. That was performed yesterday and she sees him for results tomorrow morning. Here we go again!

The worst part is that they way my parents are misbehaving, we can't even punish them!!! I've had enough with cancer already.

Thanks for listening!

scohn
Hi teamfrank.

Hi teamfrank.

Just wanted to snd you an internet message of support. Sending thoughts, and prayers, and wishes that your mother's spot is nothing serious, and that the CT scan report is good. Also sending healing thoughts for a rapid recovery for your father's cellulitis.

I know the emotional roller coasters one goes on when your parents are sick, so just know there are other people out there thinking of you, and sending thoughts of healing, hope, and comfort.

Take care, scohn

Wife, non-smoker, dx 4/24/15 adeno NSCLC stage IV. HER2 Exon 20. 6/15 6x Carbo/Alimta; effective. 9/15 Alimta maint; ineffect. 11/15 - Opdivo; ineffect. 4/16 - ptK7 trial; effective 1.5 yr. 9/17 Gemzar; effective 16 mo. 8/18 -TAK788 Trial; ineffective. 10/18 Abraxane; effective. 7/19 Kadcyla; effective. 10/19 Carbo/Alimta/Keytruda followed by Alimta; ineffective. 4/20-Poziotinib; effective. 7/20 - Enhertu;?

teamfrank
Thank you scohn. My mom sent

Thank you scohn. My mom sent a text this morning stating she has to have a PET scan and that is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7:30. I will get more details from her when I have lunch break at work today and can call her. I imagine that at the very least this indicates that the CT scan wasn't able to eliminate the possibility of the spot being serious. My father is hopefully done at the doctor's office by now for his cellulitis. I will be following up with him as well.

It is quite the roller coaster ride so far. I honestly feel like I'm going numb right now. My younger sister (the youngest of the three of us) let me know last night that she will be unable to keep me and my older sister posted on things with our dad as she herself is having some issues handling all of the stress that is currently happening. She is seeking professional help to try to get herself back on track. That is fine because we can call our father on our own. It really bothers me that my younger sister is the only daughter that lives anywhere close to our parents and so she deals with the brunt of helping them where she can. I feel horrible that I can't just pack up and move back there and take care of them.

I knew that there would be people here who could understand the way I may be feeling and that's why I chose to vent here. I know my parents don't want to be dealing with this or putting this stress into our lives either. This is just how life sometimes goes.

teamfrank
So, my mom's CT scan report

So, my mom's CT scan report states, in part: "...a large spiculated mass present in the right upper lobe which measures 2 x 2.3 cm spiculated margins are present; this is consistent with malignant lesion. No soft tissue density pulmonary nodules are identified in the right lower lobe. There is some peripheral thickening, potentially scarring in the apices. Diffuse emphysematous changes are present. No definite left-sided pulmonary nodule.

JimC
Hi teamfrank,

Hi teamfrank,

Yes, many of us do understand, even if we haven't been in the situation of being far away from our affected loved one. Cancer in general causes a great deal of uncertainty as well as helplessness. That's especially true at the time of initial scan results and during the workup procedures. I have no great words of wisdom that will remove those feelings, but as you get answers that will help.

As far as your mom's CT scan report, it's never possible to definitively make a cancer diagnosis from the scan, but there are factors which can make the findings more suspicious for cancer. In her report, the description of the mass as "spiculated" (meaning "having uneven edges" as opposed to round) makes it more suspicious for cancer. On the other hand, nothing else showed up on the scan, and hopefully the PET scan also will show no other potential cancer activity in the rest of the body.

I join scohn in sending my thoughts and positive energy for good results, good communication and comfort.

JimC
Forum moderator

<p>I began visiting GRACE in July, 2008 when my wife Liz was diagnosed with lung cancer, and became a forum moderator in January, 2010. My beloved wife of 30 years passed away Nov. 4, 2011 after battling stage IV lung cancer for 3 years and 4 months</p>

teamfrank
Thank you for your kind words

Thank you for your kind words JimC. Having started through this initial process just recently with my father, I feel a little less stressed as I am aware that this is all a process for sure. Although my parents are divorced, I have shared information with my mother regarding the process we are dealing with in regards to my mother so she too is aware of how this all kind of gets started. She did tell her oncologist, which is who she yesterday to get her CT scan results, that she knew that until a tissue sample can be obtained and biopsied that he is unable to give her any sort of definitive diagnosis. She did ask him a very direct question though. She asked if, in his opinion as a professional in treating cancer patients, if he believes she has lung cancer. He answered yes. He did tell her the mass is small and he believes it is likely they caught it early. He indicated that he wasn't sure they could remove the mass surgically but did tell her that would be up to the surgeon to decide. However, if surgery is not an option, my mother is willing to do radiation and that is what they are planning on at this stage. She sees her oncologist again on Monday and expects they will schedule a biopsy for her next week.

I told her that I have found a couple of sites (this is definitely one of them) that I feel have fantastic information and support forums that I would like to share with her. I will be giving her the information when I travel to the Quad Cities this weekend and visit both of my parents. I have nicknamed them troublemaker 1 (my dad) and troublemaker 2 (my mom)!

JimC
Hi teamfrank,

Hi teamfrank,

I'm glad that we have been able to help a bit, and that getting more familiar with the process has lowered your stress level somewhat. As your mom's doctor has said, the nodule is fairly small and if the PET scan doesn't indicate any spread, local treatment (either surgery or radiation) may be possible, with a look toward cure.

We'll keep our thoughts positive for good results!

JimC
Forum moderator

<p>I began visiting GRACE in July, 2008 when my wife Liz was diagnosed with lung cancer, and became a forum moderator in January, 2010. My beloved wife of 30 years passed away Nov. 4, 2011 after battling stage IV lung cancer for 3 years and 4 months</p>