See You Later, My Friend Neilb - 1268496

sherrys
Posts:212

With a broken heart, I wanted to tell our GRACE family that Neilb passed away today. In December he was diagnosed with Lepto. I saw him Monday and he was in good spirits and doing well, although he knew the cancer was progressing rapidly.

When I first joined GRACE, like everyone I was scared. When Neil found out I was from Pittsburgh, he reached out to me and we formed a very special friendship. We even shared the same oncologist. Everytime I received bad news, he was the first to lift my spirits. He was the only person I could truly tell my fears to because we were in the same place. He was so knowledgeable about lung cancer and always had the right answer.

Ironically, our fathers even passed away on the same day. I've had the pleasure of meeting his family and he and I talked about them frequently. He loved them so much. I spoke with his wife and son and they are hurting so badly.

The world truly lost a wonderful man today. See you later, Neil. I'll miss you, my friend.

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JimC
Posts: 2753

Sherry, I too am heartbroken to hear of Neil's passing. Neil was one of the earliest members and supporters of Dr. West's GRACE vision. He and Ned (recce101) were the first two GRACE moderators, and his posts were always intelligent and calming and displayed an optimistic outlook on life and his struggle with cancer.

Here is one of my favorite posts of his, one which exemplifies his positive attitude and fresh perspective:

"The stats are static, but we as patients are not. Everything that happens to us improves or hurts our 2-year, or 3-year, or 5-year survival chances (as well as our median survival). Respond to a treatment, and your odds go up. Survive 11 months, and your one-year survival rate goes up--a lot. The way I like to look at it (which is a bit morbid, and maybe slightly competitive) is that there are 100 shells in a shell game. I'm wondering if I'm one of the two shells that has the pea under it (the two who survive 5 years). As long as I'm around, I could be one of those two shells. Now, 19 months after my recurrence, I don't know that I'm one of the two lucky shells. I do know, however, that 70-75 of the shells (all of which are not me) did not have the lucky pea under them. So, simply by hanging around this long, my chances of making it five years have increased from 2% (hypothetically) to 7 or 8% (2 out of 25 or 30, instead of 2 out of 100). Same for other survival goals.

Meanwhile, all we can do is keep on showing up for life.--Neil"

Both GRACE and I will miss you, Neil. We were fortunate to have crossed your path.

My condolences to his family and friends, with wishes for peace and comfort.

JimC
Forum moderator

cards7up
Posts: 635

So sad and sorry to hear of Neil's passing. I always enjoyed his posts. My condolences to his family.
Take care, Judy

bobradinsky
Posts: 144

! would like to add my sincere condolences to the family of Neil. While I did not have the pleasure of knowing or communicating with Neil I can tell from reading what others on this site said that he was an extraordinary man who dealt with his affliction with grace and dignity.

Bob

Dr West
Posts: 4735

I'm very sorry to hear that, but thank you, Sherry, for letting us know. Neil was a very central person with GRACE for years and even served as a board member early on. I was happy to have met him when he came out to Seattle for a visit.

I also send my condolences to his wife and family. He was a very special person.

-Dr. West