Joe Sperazza? - 1242522

erica
Posts:14

Does anyone know whats going on with Joe S's wife? I don't see any recent post from him and the last time I was on grace she was having minor problems. Joe, if your out there I hope you are both well!

Thanks,
Erica

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Reply # - March 3, 2012, 11:28 AM

Dr West
Posts: 4735

Erica and others,

Joe's wife began experiencing increasing medical problems in the late summer and early fall of 2011 that led to her going into and out of the hospital frequently. At the same time that so much was falling on him to manage issues around caring for her, he also had other household/job pressures that really precluded him from continuing with GRACE as either a participating member or as a technical support person. I know he wanted to express more and be here more as she declined and ultimately died several months ago, I think he was really overwhelmed by everything and, to my knowledge, pretty much withdrew. I'm sure many in the GRACE community would have wanted to try to help him through a dark time, he just hasn't been able to participate here. I conveyed my sincere condolences to him, and I know he understands that many here would want to do the same, but I wouldn't presume to tell someone else how to handle the grief of losing a life partner.

-Dr. West

Reply # - March 3, 2012, 11:34 AM

laya d.
Posts: 714

Hi erica:

I'm so very sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but Bobbye (Joe's wife) passed away a few months back. Those of us who knew about it were hoping that Joe would come back to GRACE at some point and would let everyone know himself. But, that hasn't happened. I know that many of us here care deeply for Joe (and for Bobbye) and hope that someday he'll be back among us to help the rest of us navigate this very awful road. I personally have learned a lot from Joe and can truthfully say that his contributions here have helped guide some of my Mom's medical care.

I remain deeply saddened by Bobbye's loss.

Laya

After I posted I saw that Dr. West had responded, but I'll leave my post as is. . .

Reply # - March 3, 2012, 12:17 PM

erica
Posts: 14

Dang it.....Im so sad over this. My heart breaks for Joe. Your right Dr. West, everyone grieves differently and we have to respect that. I will miss his presence here for sure. Thanks Laya for the news, now i can pray that he finds peace in his heart and realizes he has loving friends here that would love to be a support.

I don't see much going on with Jim C either. Any news on him, I saw you met with him and his wife Dr. West, but I don't see him in the forums as much as he used too!

Thanks,
Erica

Reply # - March 4, 2012, 06:54 AM

certain spring
Posts: 762

I'm sorry, this is a very sad thread. JimC's much-loved wife Elizabeth died in November.
http://cancergrace.org/forums/index.php?topic=10306.msg88011#msg88011
He stayed with GRACE and has continued to post invaluable advice and consolation for others. He has found new happiness with Lisa (her user name is marisa), whose husband Mark died suddenly around the same time:
http://cancergrace.org/forums/index.php?topic=11426.msg94384#msg94384

Reply # - March 4, 2012, 12:52 PM

Dr West
Posts: 4735

JimC has really not participated lately, though he is on our board. It's not clear whether he feels able and motivated to continue to remain involved. He and his perspective and knowledge have been invaluable, but I can also understand the desire of people to move on with other aspects of their lives rather than look back, especially when that is associated with loss and sad memories.

-Dr. West

Reply # - March 4, 2012, 06:20 PM

erica
Posts: 14

Thanks you so much certain spring and Dr. West. I didn't mean for this to be a sad thread, I appreciate you guys updating me, I'm sad to hear that both of our grace friends had to go through the pain of letting go after putting up such a strong fight. I lost my dad a year ago and I can finally look at his picture, and I am so grateful for that, but it takes time. I sure do miss there spirit on here.

I am wondering what's going on with others, but I'll wait until our private messaging is working, I don't want to be a "Debbie downer".

Wow a lot changes in 5 months.

Thanks Erica

Reply # - March 5, 2012, 05:37 AM

certain spring
Posts: 762

Hi Erica - I think it's absolutely fine to ask what has happened to people, and it is nice to be able to speak of them. kej's husband died suddenly, so she is not around any more and I hope very much she is doing OK. DianaJ died in January. Most recently ts (Stephanie) died after her cancer progressed in the liver and she decided to stop treatment. I think a lot of people are still struggling to take that in - I certainly am.

Reply # - March 5, 2012, 08:31 AM

erica
Posts: 14

No, No, No, I can't believe this. I was searching for them all night last night, I am heartbroken that they are no longer here. I feel like everyone was doing so well!

Dang you Lung Cancer.

Thank you so much Certain Spring, I really appreciate you taking the time out to let me know. Wow, who knew the cyber world could have such an impact on your emotions and allow for such connections. The support I received from our lost grace friends was like you and Dr. West stated above.....INVALUABLE!

Any word on Irish Nelly and her husband? O my goodness, I promise that is the last person who is on my mind and that I am concerned about.

I think I will go read through the awesome words of encouragement that Diana J and TS gave me through this crazy time. I hope you are feeling well certain spring, and feeling good through your current treatment!

Thanks so much,

Erica

Reply # - March 5, 2012, 10:03 AM

certain spring
Posts: 762

Thank you for the good wishes, much appreciated. I couldn't agree with you more that it is bewildering to be upset about people one has never met.
Irish Nelly was here recently - I think in November/December though I can't remember exactly. She was understandably worried because her husband was in hospital with pneumonia. Happily he pulled through and was discharged.
There is a nice thread that Myriam (fortmyr) started so that people could update each other on the new website:
http://cancergrace.org/lung/topic/updating-each-other-in-a-common-threa…

Reply # - March 23, 2012, 04:12 AM

tessas
Posts: 2

I can also understand the desire of people to move on with other aspects of their lives rather than look back, especially when that is associated with loss and sad memories.

This is Dr. West comments. And I agree.
But in the meantime I will never forget for the rest of my life the total emotional and professional help I've received from all You.
My thoughts goe's to Joe, Ned, Simon, JimC..and You all.
ThankYou again .
tessa from Milano Italy

Reply # - March 23, 2012, 05:12 PM

Dr West
Posts: 4735

tessa,

You also meant a great deal to the GRACE community. It is wonderful to hear from you. I hope you are doing well.

-Dr. West

Reply # - March 26, 2012, 12:49 PM

laya d.
Posts: 714

Yes, Tessa! I'm so happy you've checked in here. I hope that you and your son are doing well. . .You both continue to be in my thoughts. . .

Much Love,
Laya

Reply # - March 27, 2012, 05:23 AM

catdander
Posts:

Beautiful tessas...Dr. West is right, you also gave a tremendous amount back to Grace.

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