Thank you and Final Update - my husband TonyW - 1255135

tinkeast
Posts:12

Two years 3.5 mos ago, my husband Tony received his stage IV diagnosis. We were shattered, holding our breaths thinking game over. Then slowly we began to breathe again. Tough treatments, tough side effects, but we got a full year of him feeling better than before he was sick. More treatments, roller coaster speeding up, two hospitalizations to get pain under control, new scan with progression, decision to enter hospice in January 2013. Went to two more special events with me and his son, travelled with his daughter to visit with his family, then home to rest. Another massive pain event, into in-patient hospice to get it under control. Always remembered who he was, but lost where he was. One day he told us he was in Alaska, another that he was in a reality show. Pain managed away but so was his ability to "be". I stuck with him like glue thru the whole journey, he never went to a single appointment or treatment without me by his side and other than 3 quick showers never left his side the past two weeks. On Sunday night, his daughter came over, we were going to have a sleepover in his room. He hadn't been awake for three days at this point. She kissed his cheek said I love you daddy and went across the room to sit down. Moments later we realized he had slipped away.

I'm thankful for the follwoing:
1. That my daughter had the chance to be there and for her kiss to be the last thing he felt.
2. That I was able to be with him thru it all.
3. That while we weren't able to get him home, we made that room our home for two weeks and did it our way on our terms.
4. And for you all and this site. At the start, I spent a few days reading every single post on this site. I never interacted but feel as though people like Laya and Ned and others could be my family. You helped me understand and prepare for this journey.

Thank you all. For what you have shared here to help others, for what you do to help your families.

Tink

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Reply # - March 26, 2013, 06:09 AM

JimC
Posts: 2753

Tink,

I'm so sorry that you have lost your beloved husband Tony. So much of what you have written resonates deeply with me - I too was constantly at my wife's side during her last few weeks, and was at all her appointments. I'm heartened that you are able to recognize those things for which you can be grateful, which also includes all the years you spent with him. It's so obvious from your post that you shared with him the kind of love that many are never lucky enough to experience.

My thoughts are with you and your family, my wish is for peace and comfort.

JimC
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Reply # - March 26, 2013, 10:17 AM

laya d.
Posts: 714

Oh Tink. . .

I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is so incredibly hard. My heart just aches for you and the rest of Tony's loved ones. I'm actually crying behind my desk here. I wish I had some words of comfort to share with you, but I'm at a loss. I just hope that it gets better than it is now, and that we all start becoming more accustomed to our new life.

And, yes. . .of course you are a part of our cyber family (despite being a quiet one). Please let us know if there is anything any of us can do for you. . .

Much Love,
Laya

Reply # - March 26, 2013, 10:52 AM

forherbie
Posts: 50

Tink
Just want to say how sorry I am for your loss of Tony. We all share in each loss here but also rejoice in the wonderful memories that remain with us. We share the frustrations, tips of help, hugs, the hurdles we overcome---in other words this is a great caring site. I hope the future is kinder to you.
Take care,
Anne

Reply # - March 26, 2013, 07:25 PM

marisa93
Posts: 215

Tink,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your dearest Tony. Thank you for sharing your story and gratitude for GRACE at such a difficult time. I was also at my husband's side for everything from the moment of his diagnosis to the end of his journey. I and our kids camped with him his final week at the hospital and then hospice. As hard as that was at least we were together until the end.

My best wishes are with you and your family heal.
Lisa

Reply # - March 27, 2013, 05:03 PM

dwhang
Posts: 9

Tink,

I'm so sorry for your loss during this difficult time. Your eloquently written message is such a blessing to all of us dealing with similar circumstances, and I truly thank you for your words. It seems that Tony lived a blessed life to have such a wonderful wife and children. If I could only be so lucky to have my own daughter's words of love be the last thing that I heard and her kiss the last thing I felt, I would depart this world with a full heart. And I'm sure that is exactly how Tony felt.

Daniel

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