When I was first Diagnosed with Nsclc a close friend of mine was diagnosed with throat cancer. Our paths mingled. He went through his treatment I went through mine and we commiserated with and supported each other. One year after initial treatment we both had relapses and started our journey from the beginning again..
Through everything we went through we both tried to keep a positive outlook.. Our friends all commented about our attitudes. We made jokes about our predicaments and made those around us more comfortable.. Ernie and I promised each other that we wouldn't let Cancer beat us.
Last Saturday Ernie broke his promise and died from his Cancer. He didn't choose to break his promise, he just couldn't help it.
No matter what kind of attitude we keep, Cancer can be a dangerous and Deadly foe. We all try to keep each other's spirits up here at Grace. I know I have made an effort to be positive but, sometimes Cancer kills us and the ones we love, No matter how positive our attitude. Sorry for the attitude but today I am just not feeling very positive. Cancer Sucks!
charlie
Reply # - December 22, 2013, 04:16 PM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
Charlie, I'm so so sorry about your friend's passing. Cancer sucks!
Reply # - December 22, 2013, 06:37 PM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
Charlie
There is nothing I can add or say to what you already said. I am sad to hear about your friend. It just sucks. Bob
Reply # - December 22, 2013, 09:33 PM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
Nobody would challenge your very fair summary that cancer sucks. One thing I hope you don't feel right now is survivor guilt -- you both put your heads down and went through everything you needed to do, but the sad reality is that we give the best treatment we can, you submit to it the best you can, but some people do fabulously well and others don't...for reasons beyond our control. So we celebrate the successes and mourn the failures, just as if it were after a war.
-Dr. West
Reply # - December 23, 2013, 09:38 AM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
Yes Dr. West I think that's a fair analogy.
Reply # - December 23, 2013, 11:31 AM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
No Survivors Guilt!, just taking the opportunity to share feelings with people who understand. I have worked this entire year and have had a pretty normal life. The only thing is that there is not a day that Cancer doesn't cross my mind. Recently one of my employees had a biopsy on a small mole that their Doctor thought might be cancerous. The biopsy was done on a Wednesday and they didn't get the results back until the following week. This employee of mine was so upset that they missed a couple of days work. The results came in and they were fine.
My point is that people freak out over the thought that they may have cancer. I didn't say anything other than to be supportive but, the thought did pass my mind, "How would you like to go through that wait to see if you have cancer, Every three months for years on end".
Cancer takes its' toll on all of us both mentally and physically. I am by nature a cheerful, glass half full kind of guy but, having a relapse has made me a little more nervous at scan time. { really did not freak out the first time I was diagnosed with cancer. I had four scans that were clear and then one that was not. I felt like I had been hit by a freight train with the second diagnosis of cancer. Am I the only one that worries that every new ache and pain may be cancer?
Charlie
Reply # - December 23, 2013, 09:58 PM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
No, that is a very, very common long-term side effect of the entire cancer process. You are definitely not alone in that respect.
-Dr. West
Reply # - December 24, 2013, 12:11 PM
Reply To: The other side of Positive
Dear Charlie,
It's very appropriate to grieve about having cancer and losing people you love to it. I'm a naturally cheerful person too, but one would probably not know it by reading my posts! I suffer deeply when we lose someone to cancer - especially as you've lost one of the few who understand exactly what you're going through. It's a different kind of bond, and closer to your heart than people realize.
No need to apologize for all the emotions and worries you're experiencing. I hope there's a source of joy and comfort for you as you weather this. Wishing you love, peace, and a Merry Christmas.
Jazz