Coping/survivorship - 1261309

I'm sorry you don't feel you're doing as well overall as you should be. Chemo-brain is a real problem, but it really refers much more to cognitive/memory deficits than it does to emotional resilience. That aspect is pretty far from the expertise of nearly all oncologists and surgeons. I think a psychiatrist would likely be the person who could provide the most insight here.

Good luck.

-Dr. West

Cheryl,

I can totally relate to what you are sharing and I am a care taker. I came to the conclusion that our oncologist provides medical treatment for the cancer, but not all the things that comes along with having cancer and cancer side effects (e.g. chemo brain, emotional, psychological, etc.). All of the side effects of having cancer is better than cancer running wild, but it doesn't mean those side effects are not debilitating in its own way vs. before having cancer. Having people to talk to helps with creating a new normal (doesn't mean it is easy to accept).

I found exercising, just focusing on today and every day, constantly planning events so to have something exciting to look forward to continuously, and ask "what makes you happy" and just do those happy things are helpful in coping.

Hi Cheryl:

First and foremost, I am so very happy to read of your NED status. YAY!

But, I also agree that the emotional side of cancer is a whole different animal that must be dealt with separate from the oncology part. This prior post/discussion by Leah de Roulett, one of the Social Workers on GRACE, may be helpful to you: http://cancergrace.org/coping-with-cancer/2008/01/17/roller-coaster-of-…

All my best,
Laya

I read an amazing book, really don't be put off by the commercial title. Anticancer, by David Servan Schreiber. The author was a professor of Psychiatry at a top medical school in US, and he lived with a brain cancer for 15 years. Yes, in the end the cancer won. Every statement in that book is backed up by previously published studies.

Cheryl

all cancer survivors feel some degree of what you are talking about - some more than others. Cancer changes our lives and perspectives. I always think about how I would have led my life if I didn't have this cancer and how different it would have been. Yes, it's good to dream. It's hard to accept these changes. I think someone on this site once said, once you become peanut butter, you can't go back to become a peanut (or something like that). I think in many ways, we are frustrated with some of these "negative" changes and it's hard to come to terms with it. At least, that is my point of view. we all have our own ways to cope - being with friends, doing things you love ( or at least trying to do those things help) and if you don't feel really functional, get help with medicines!!!

ssflxl

Costica,

I am in the same camp with you about the Anticancer book. With so many things changing (e.g. hard to focus or remember things compared to before), my wife and I were desperate for something we can control, beside going to the oncologist, CT scan, X-Ray, side effects of treatment, or learning from GRACE site. Many things in the book advocate things that our parents advocate us doing when we were growing up but somehow we got away from them because of being busy with hectic life. Doing many of those things (e.g. eating healthy, exercise, meditation, etc.) helped us regain a sense of control.

Cheryl, I've never had cancer but I do understand it's much worse than having a husband with cancer so I too have wondered why that forum has been left without much written. I've just moved this thread into the "coping strategies" forum and want to share a thread with you. I started it but it was meant for those with cancer, especially for "certain spring" a member who is gone now but at the time who was looking for input just as you are now. I don't mean that you should write in that thread, I just wanted to share a coping thread that did take off and is full of amazing information and thoughts. http://cancergrace.org/topic/holding-your-nerve

I hope this thread may become a place for others to write about their thoughts on coping, as I'm desperately looking also.

All best,
Janine

Cheryl,
Congrats on being NED. This disease changes your life in so many different ways. I was my wife's caregiver and had a front row seat to the cognitive/memory issues she experienced and her frustration(s). It helped us both to talk about it and strategize ways she could deal with it, and ways I could assist her. She to was a vibrant, relatively active grandmother, but this disease changed her life in so many ways. Take a look at the Winter 2013 Cure Magazine as it has an awesome article on "Chemo Brain". It discusses advancements in this area of treatment, and strategies for dealing with this very real issue. It may be helpful to seek out the social worker at your treatment facility both as a sounding board, and as someone that can point you towards professional resources to offer insight and assistance with the mental health aspect. Your mental/emotional health is just as important as your physical health. We lived for today, as yesterday is in the books and can't be changed, and tomorrow is not here yet so we will deal with tomorrow when it gets here.
This is just my perspective. Use what you find helpful, and discard the rest.

Oscar

Thanks Oscar, your input is much appreciated and useful.

I'm truly sorry to hear about this stressful monkey wrench. However, nobody here is in a position to tell you the chances that this nodule is or is not cancerous. That's a function of your specific situation and the appearance of the scan: any opinion offered by someone who doesn't have those details is probably of no value at all. Your doctor's perspective is about 1000x more helpful here than that of someone online who doesn't know your case or see your scans.

The standard approach here is to check if a questionable small nodule is growing or goes away over time. If it grows, a biopsy is the definitive way to establish the diagnosis.

-Dr. West